Skip to main content

Hi, I'm Carolyn



 Hi, I'm Carolyn and I have fibromyalgia. 

I was diagnosed with fibro in 2016. Who knew five years could seem like such a long time? Yes, fibro is real. No, there is not a cure. In fact, at best, doctor's can only hope to alleviate about 35% of the pain that someone with fibro deals with. For those of us with fibro, that means we will be in pain for the rest of our lives. Every. Single. Day. 

Sometimes, it's not the pain that is the biggest problem, but being in continual pain that never stops. Even in my dreams, I dream that I'm being tortured as my body tries to process the pain I'm in while I'm sleeping. 

Having fibromyalgia has meant changes and making adjustments. Friends used to call me the Energizer Bunny, now people don't understand why I can't do more. I miss my Energizer Bunny days. I miss having energy. Now, I have to be careful and spread out tasks with rest breaks in between so I don't overdo. 

Being diagnosed with fibromyalgia triggered a grieving process that still asserts itself when I have to make yet another adjustment. 

But pain is not necessarily an enemy to be defeated. In some ways, perhaps it is just a well-meaning albeit completely clueless friend. Pain reminds me every day to slow down, take a breath, and let go.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you for commenting. All comments are moderated. Due to time zone differences and fibro flares, it may take a day or 3 for your comment to show up. Your understanding is greatly appreciated.

Popular posts from this blog

Spoonie Wrist Cozies

  A 7-page PDF for these is available for free on Ravelry . The PDF has all notes on size and spoonie tips and charity knitting ideas. I wear some kind of fingerless mitts almost year-round. In summer, I wanted something a little lighter to protect my hands where the hand and wrist connect. When air conditioning or even just a fan hits here, it can be quite painful. These were my answer to the problem. This is a quick knit and would be a great gift or charity project. The cozies pictured above are the Loose Fit on size 7 needles and they have about an inch of give as I don't like anything that fits closely near my wrists. I can no longer wear bracelets.  These came out too loose on my testers so I made a close fit pattern, too, and also tested them with size 6 needles for a smaller fit. The great thing is that these are such a quick knit, you can make several sizes and donate or give away the ones you don't like. They would also make a great spoonie gift.  Yarn: worsted w...
Post a Comment
Read more

I'm So Tired, But I Can't Sleep

  You would think that if you're really, really tired, you should have no problem falling asleep, right? Yeah, right. Unfortunately, as soon as I lie down, all the pain that I've been ignoring throughout the day demands attention.  Stabbing pains in my feet. The feeling of needles dipped in jalapeno juice inserted under the nails of my toes and fingers. Twitching muscles in my calves and forearms. Everything hurts.  So many times I think, "If I could just sleep," but most of the time sleeping is not easy. It can take several hours to fall asleep no matter how exhausted I am. Once asleep, I rarely stay asleep for long. If I only wake up 3-4 times during the night, I've slept pretty well most nights. Nothing I've tried seems to work if I take it multiple nights in a row, so I mix things up. Things that seem to help me either fall asleep or stay asleep include melantonin, magnesium, tulsi tea, valerian tea, and soaking my feet in an epsom salt bath (no bathtub or...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Grocery/Cooking Dilemma

  Life in China with fibromyalgia means we don't have a car so I walk or take a bus when I need to go out. It also means five flights of stairs going and coming. There are quite a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables available when I can get to them, though. And, ordering takeout is really convenient. Which isn't always a good thing. The thing about having fibro and grocery shopping in China is that it usually involves walking a block or two to the bus stop or the store or the market. It may involve a bus ride. I carry all of the groceries home rather than putting them into a car and driving. And then, I carry them up five flights of stairs to the apartment. Grocery shopping takes a lot of spoons. It's not often that I feel up to grocery shopping. But, if you only go grocery shopping once a week or once every other week, you kind of need, well, everything. That's a problem. Because of a bad shoulder, I need to keep my grocery bag to about 30 lbs if I don't want to...
Post a Comment
Read more